NEADEITAL
(Heavy Spectrum, 2020)
How do you say this then? My guess is Nay-a-day-tal but it's not the most obvious name for a game. Like erm, Kobyashi Ag'Kwo, which does exist. I took to the internet for pronunciation reassurance, only to find that Matt Birch and the Heavy S. massive have made it up! Well at least that means I can say it however I like, I can pronounce it Moustachioed Archipelago if I so desire.
So Noodletowel is kinda a homage to those Gargoyle classics of old Tir Na Nog, Dun Darach, Marsport and Ad Astra. If those games had an engine, this might well use it. Probably that Unreal one, everything uses that. Still that's okay - at least this is a really welcome change of pace from AGD platformer of the week number 27. Right, have to get out of 'Grumpy For No Reason' mode now...
Ne'erDoWellTom is the name given to the world that existed before humans loused it up. There were giant folk called the Nephilim, and they had Fields to die for. They had to protect Earth from aliens but were struggling, so had to get help from the primitives. Not the '80s group who sang 'Crash' though (tune dat). I've read the plot para in the inlay several times and I still don't really get it, but no matter.
You play not Cucchulain but Lelak, one of his brothers from another mother. You must wander around, find and combine objects, visit the apothecary (oh sorry, that's Dun Darach) and generally use your primitive mind to save the world and make your day more interesting. My own primitive mind managed to solve a few puzzles... at length.
There's a great help feature in NeedleTarn, which you'll certainly make frequent use of. Simply go to your tent, fall asleep and your dreams give you a clue as to what to do next. If only real life was like that instead of the usual boring, confused, random cr@p we tend to be stuck with. Usually just like the stuff you have to do in real life, only doing it naked. Thanks.
There are several characters you can interact with around your home village and beyond. And the great thing is they're nearly all very concise and to the point, no waffling here. Like the opposite of Disco Elysium, which has been driving me mad on PS5 (wot dat?) lately. And it promises to throw up some very different problems, like dealing with a destructive drone. Which I was quite surprised to see, in prehistoric times and all.
This game looks brilliant, a more modern take on those classic Gargoyle Games with very nice, smooth graphics and more colour than one would expect. Sound is fairly sparse which is a slight shame, with a tune on the menu screen only. A brief introduction kicks things off nicely too.
So it's a big 'Hats Off' to Heavy Spectrum, maaaaaaan. It's great to see such a major effort invested in a modern Speccy game, as anyone doing it nowadays is surely doing it purely for the fun of it, despite this title costing me a fiver. It's definitely a modern classic, and I'd probably invest even more time in it if I didn't insist on spending my days doing these little write-ups. Still, maybe when I retire...
THE VERDICT
93%
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