The Games That Time Forgot: 1989 Edition

I can see why he fell for Judy. Hubba hubba

PUNCH AND JUDY

(Alternative)

Alternative never seemed to release any particularly brilliant games, it's probably fair to say. But having played a few recently for these features, they nearly always seem to attain a reasonable standard of offering, with Slug for instance, without shattering any earth. And for budget games, that's not a bad thing, since so many have sucked so badly over the years.

It's not really acceptable these days, is it?

They seemed to dabble in cartoon characters quite a bit, trying to appeal to the younger crowd I imagine, but I'm not sure how many kids would have got excited about old-time wife-batterer Punch and the nagging Judy. Who would even hold the licence for such a thing, an old hermit living at the end of a disused pier somewhere? And those who suffered the mental (and aural) abuse of notorious oldie Punchy would undoubtedly give it a hard pass.

Punch and pooch check out the sweet gifts for sale at the seaside

Old far-from-loveable Punch has to scour the streets of lovely Bridlington, trying to locate the pieces of his stall, so he can put on his torturous showpiece. Apparently many of the sceens are actually based on the real-life Bridlington, so points for authenticity there. Bit like Trashman and the streets of Bath. Maybe go there and check out how many you can find, and report back?

The stall is starting to take shape. Surely the lady should be in a huge red and white stripy bathing suit?

Things proceed a bit like Jack The Nipper, only without all the cheeky pranks. Punch has to avoid the long unforgiving truncheon of the law (bit of seaside postcard humour for you there) and a snapping crocodile, plus a bitey dog which he can distract with a string of sausages. Lovers of the traditional show, if there are any still alive, would nod with contentment at the inclusion of such features.

A coin, yes, but also an officer who is about to arrest the hero. And rightly so

Mr. Punch has to move fast as the tide at Bridlington is constantly coming in, which means his show might end up getting (deservedly) washed away to sea. The tide goes faster if you get arrested or munched, and overall it seems very hard to get many stall pieces at all in the time given. I think I managed four once. But only once.

At least the law have got Punch's number. What the heck did the baby do to deserve this though?

This game looks quite decent with good colourful graphics, but with an annoying as hell walking sound effect. And it's big enough, quite a few screens to explore. But ultimately it's missing that extra bit of pizazz which makes you want to keep playing it. But no doubt some enjoyed it back in the day, dementedly shouting to themselves "That's the way to do it!" Like Punch, those people are probably in jail now with any luck.

Noooooo! Al, why would you do this?! "HEE HEE, HAR HAR!"

SEASIDE SCORE

60%

THE GAMES THAT TIME FORGOT: 1989 EDITION

4th out of 5