Curiosities of the Modern Age: I-J

in which Al drags the waters of his collection of recent software titles and has a nosey at the oddest he can find...

True, it's not the happiest of stories. The load screen hints at this

IN NIHILUM REVERTERIS

(Hooy-Program, 2018)

Polish chappy Yerzmyey is proper handy with a tune. "You might know him from games like most of Jonny Boy Cauldwell's, Hakkenkast and Connect 4, I mean Complica DX." Like Troy McClure he is a master of his art and is rightly recognised as such. That Simpsons reference will go down like a sack of poop for anyone younger than 30, but let's face it, we're all nicely aged here ain't we?

Take a break from zapping aliens and read some actual literature instead

But Yerzmyey didn't just "write the theme tune and sing the theme tune" on this title. He only went and wrote it, it being a piece of interactive fiction. He paid someone 850 Euros to translate it into English. Thanks to Spectrum Computing for this useless piece of information. So I guess it's a project close to his beepy heart.

This pic is quite random, and those heels are terrifying

And the good news is it's a cracking good yarn, really well translated. It's about a chap called Karl who is having some issues with parts of his life disappearing randomly. It's kinda Philip K. Dicky and dystopian and keeps your interest admirably.

This bit's like the opening credits of a '60s TV spy caper

You only get to make a choice every few pages or so, but that's okay, just enjoy the rich text while you're waiting. And there are several different endings too. I think I got the least disastrous one first time round luckily. There's a predictably ace tune and some great graphics on the cut scenes too. I like, I like, I like.

Despair. Shouldn't have listened to so much Radiohead

Nice to see a cyan loading screen for a change. Can't think of any others off hand...

JAWS: THE TEXT ADVENTURE

(Einar Saukas, 2015)

There was if you remember a famously unlicensed Jaws game on the Speccy back in the day (by Screen 7 if you're not famil), but come now, a text adventure? I guess you must play Mr. Aviators himself, Roy Scheider, in his efforts to save the good Florida folk from ol' Big Teeth himself? Hope they do the bit where they all get wasted on the boat and sing "Ladies Of Spain".

Okay, I've started doing captions on the actual screenshots, this is getting confusing

No, of course not, you play the shark! Sick $h1t, man. The mighty Mr. Saukas made this BASIC Speccy remake of a javascript (dunno, something to do with coffee) game by Matt Round.

I just can't help making stupid comments when presented with a flashing cursor

Allegedly (remember when that used to get said every few seconds on Have I Got News For You before Angus Deayton visited one too many hookers) Mirrorsoft originally commissioned the Jaws licence back in 1984, with the game to be programmed by husband and wife team The Cruds... Is that credibility I can hear being stretched somewhere?

It's a sickness really, it's not like you need to comment on everything

So this is a comedy adventure, perhaps lacking the subtlety of a Fergus McNeill, but certainly different. You go round chomping holes in whatever you can until you explode due to scarfing too much plutonium. Well that's what happened to me. It's silly shark-infested fun with some nice piccies, and well worth 30 minutes of your time.

I'll give the docs a call about it anyway. Asylum here I come!