Zenji vs. Zombie Calavera Prologue
Current Score: Old Games 10 New Games 15
ZENJI
(Activision, 1984)
Guess who's back, back again? Yes, I've decided it was high time that I got back on the Spectrum horse, drank my milk and made some more light-hearted observations with regard to the odd little game or two. It could be me, but it feels like the Speccy scene has gone a little quiet/dull of late, so it's time to inject a little irreverence back into it, and laugh once more in the face of our otherwise boring lives. And let's face it, it feels so empty without me.
If anyone's still reading after that unforgiveable self-trumpeting, we'll begin. Oh no, hang on, one more thing ma'am! Anyone who wants to moan about me comparing an old puzzle game with a modern platformer can leave the room right now, miladdo. They're both Spectrum games aren't they, so I've got every right to compare one with the other. The more ludicrous and inappropriate the better. It's my site and I'll be pointless if I want to be. But hopefully at least I'm not being boring.
Oh alright then. Maybe this Old vs. New thing hasn't quite been the absolute best idea I've ever had. It's not quite in the same league as my best-selling PDF books, Al & Dave's A to Z of Speed Reviews and An A to Z of Curiosities Of The Modern Age, which at least three people have part-read by my reckoning. But you have to admit, I've stuck to my guns and somehow seen it through to its bitter Letter Z end. That's got to count for something. Hasn't it?
Well now I've got all that sickening bile out of my system, it's probably about time to play a game or two. And you play at home too, kiddies, that's right - we should all find obscure old games to play and record our findings, because if we don't do it, then who will? Probably no-one much cares, but it's good to get these things off our chests and to express ourselves shamelessly to an often bemused audience. Probably.
Zenji then! Do you remember, 'cos I do, when the mighty Activision first burst onto the Speccy scene, releasing a job lot of games in one go, desperate to win over a load of British nippers with their brash American bravado? Problem is, their games were pretty darn tootin' average. River Raid was alright, but of Ultimate quality it certainly was not. Enduro? Nah. H.E.R.O.? Hmmm. Pitfall 2? Do me a favour, mate.
Many were arcade conversions, but I'm pretty sure Zenji couldn't have been. Since it's a puzzle game, and they never really caught on in those noisy arcades of old. You never saw crowds of kids huddled round a game of computer Scrabble in there, did you? Or whingeing that it was their turn next on Reversi? So Zenji was kind of a low-key release by Activision compared to their more flashy arcadey label mates.
But these days, since we're all older, if little wiser, the prospect of a puzzler is so much more attractive. Less emphasis on swift fingers and more on swift brainwork sounds good to me. And it makes a change from all the hacking people to death I've been doing in Elden Ring lately. 27 hours in and I've just got my first trophy, so now I'm flying, wahoo!
What's the story behind Zenji then? The cover has a trio of psychedelic heads quite intriguingly and disturbingly. And the inlay is a heady mix of Buddhism and trippiness, the gist of which is you're meant to achieve the higher state of consciousness known to those who know, as Zenji. Which is way more chill than Zen, 'cos it's got extra letters on the end, see.
So how do we achieve this? By using mind-expanding drugs? By licking a particularly brightly-coloured frog? By perfecting the bouncy art of yogic flying and joining the Natural Law Party? Nope, all you have to do is turn s*** yellow. That is, create an unbroken yellow path from a central source by moving bits of maze around while avoiding "desires and illusions" for some reason. "Zenji is like life" preaches the inlay. Okay guys, no need to go om and om about it...
So rotate bits of maze, yellow line good, got it. Like most puzzly affairs there's a time limit to consider, and surprisingly the timer isn't chill even slightly in Zenji. You really have to get moving in order to achieve ultimate serenity. Oh the irony. Otherwise your karma runs over your dogma and you're spiritual toast.
There's not much more to the game really, but that's okay. After a bit, the nasties come out and get in your way, as you'd expect, which can get frustrating. But generally it's pretty enjoyable turning your maze things around, and be-yellowing everything in your path. The size of the maze grows from level to level until you eventually find there are forty-two flippin' sections on your screen, so things become pretty challenging.
Graphics are functional, colour is predictable but neat, and sound is a bit irritating, but none of these are of much import in the world of Zenji. It's a fun experience on the whole, so why not expand your Horizons, go Thru' The Wall, trepan your head and get freaking mellow to this crazy jam.
ZOMBIE CALAVERA: PROLOGUE
(Ubhres Productions, 2010)
And now for something somewhat different. My unforgiving quest for recent games beginning with the letter Z has led me to this one. So thanks Mojon Twins for showing some much-appreciated support for the less fashionable letters of our beloved alphabet. Can I get a Hallelujah? Amen, lord, amen.
Disappointingly this game has nothing to do with legendary Brazilian noise-makers Sepultura. Their line-up included brothers Max and Igor Cavalera, you see. Which sounds a bit like Calavera. Never mind, not the best reference. It also has zip relation to classic point-and-click Grim Fandango, whose hero was called.... hang on... ah yes, Manny Calavera. But we're getting closer.
To quote Frankie Howerd, now onto "The Prologue". Or the game generally really, since no other titles followed in this series as far as I can tell. You play the role of one Santos Gimenez, grave digger by vocation, whose missus Maria was kidnapped by a drug baron called Martinez, who then performed a dark ritual to get himself a big undead army from out of the earth. He took the hapless Maria to purgatory and now she must be rescued! At least Miner Willy could get some sleep at last while she's tied up (literally).
Senor Jimenez must scour the frankly ruined town of Ataualtepec in search of 16 crucifixes in order to vanquish the evil Martinez and get his best gal pal back. He has a gun at least, and can get rid of any undead pests in his way with a few well-aimed shots. Trouble is, they then turn into flying creatures which you cannot kill at all. So why do it? Your only consolation is you can hide behind the scenery and no-one can see you, so a stealthy elf might profit by this tactic. Not that I did much.
For some reason your chappy has a quite ridiculously high jump on him, which is more off-putting than useful. Try to leap over an enemy and you'll most likely bash your head on another one miles above. But it does help with the vertical bits, it has to be said. But generally your guy boings around much like Kosmic Kanga, which seems odd.
The graphics are decent here, with a nice dark grimness to the environment, reminding me of Metamorphosis, a similarly spooky recent title which got Crash Smashed, no less. But sound is a bit lacking, not much apart from the odd sproingy noise which Mojon Twins games always seem to use. Playability is alright, but I wasn't overly tempted to persevere for too long in my quest for crosses, as it got a little repetitive.
I've got to stop now, I'm afraid. Tragically I've got a new job which affords me less spare time than before, so my ramblings may be on the short side going forwards. Maybe I should just give each game a star rating out of five and have done? But no, I'll try to keep things going on a semi-regular basis at least, and then maybe the "less is more" adage might ring true. You don't get much these days for your money, do you? Rip-off Britain!
FOR ONE LAST TIME, LET'S GO TO THE VIDEPRINTER!
BEST GRAPHICS ZOMBIE CALAVERA: PROLOGUE
BEST COLOUR ZOMBIE CALAVERA: PROLOGUE
BEST SOUND ZENJI
MOST ORIGINAL ZENJI
MOST PLAYABLE ZENJI
MOST ADDICTIVE ZENJI
FINAL SCORE
ZENJI 4 ZOMBIE CALAVERA: PROLOGUE 2
Zenji wins!
ULTIMATE FINAL OVERALL SCORES
Old Games 11 New Games 15
which proves...
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!
- FIN -
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