The Games That Time Forgot: 1987 Edition

Always put a dismembered head on the front of your tank for good luck

TANK

(Ocean)

Hullo! This is an oddity. The whole raison d'etre of these "T.G.T.T.F." pieces, as you probably know by now, is to shine a light on games which have been ignored by most, not even warranting a review in the big 3 mags of the day. So most of the titles I've looked at came from relatively unheralded sources, often being somewhat dubious budget offerings. In fairness there were a LOT of games made for our fave machine over the years, so some were bound to fall through the journalistic net, I suppose. But this one appears to have come from that barely known software house called... Ocean??? Have I got my research wrong again?

Erbe's more modest release of the game

Ocean were possibly the biggest and most succesful makers of games for most computers in the '80s. Ultimate might have delivered the Spectrum's real mindblowers in the early days, but the Ocean/US Gold/Imagine juggernaut seemed to roll on for ages, mostly giving us the good stuff, despite occasional howlers. They spent a lot of money on a lot of licences, and you knew they were excited about an upcoming release when the mags seemed to be overflowing with their 2 page glossy adverts. Their marketing department was certainly a well-oiled machine, but in the main the games delivered, so we didn't mind them dominating proceedings.

Here's where we start, and someone's already annoying us. Shoo!

Tank is a conversion of the arcade game TNK III, or T.A.N.K. if you prefer, which I don't. This game was advertised briefly at least with mere single pages, promising another big hit with the utmost confidence. It was also previewed in Crash and S.U. and largely was deemed to look the business. This was in August 1987. Then... nothing. Spanish Spec-chums MicroHobby did it the honour of an actual review in February '88, calling it a "canonazo limpio" which doesn't sound good. I can't quite tell if they liked it or not due to an odd ratings system, and my Spanish GCSE is far too ancient by now. But in the UK it was as though it hadn't come out at all, though it did eventually pop up on a couple of compilations years later. So que pasa?

Getting a little outnumbered here. I'd still rather be in the tank than out of it though

Choice Software were the 'chosen' ones for this conversion, and they had their names on many titles back in the day. Like many of their kind they led a fairly secretive existence and it was often hard to pinpoint exactly who had programmed what - it was just the hive mind that made them all. Choice the entity gave us Beach Volley, Indoor Sports, Konami's Tennis, Mario Bros., Summer Games, California Games and even World... Games. The word has lost all meaning now. But who were Choice? The odd name leaked out occasionally, thus we are advised that Tank was made by Gerald Weatherup and his mate Craigy. Gerald went on to do Final Assault (not good) and New Zealand Story (highly good) while history doesn't relate any other mighty deeds which may or may not have been undertaken by Craigy.

Hmmm, which way to go? Something tells me to GO NORTH SHOOTILY

Choice's track record appears to have been rather inconsistent when it comes to game quality. Which leads me to wonder if the big noises at Ocean thought that Tank wasn't quite as explosive as they would have liked. So maybe they decided not to send out any review copies for it. But that would be an unusual move for such a money-making giant of the computer world. After all, they went and released the likes of Street Hawk, Knight Rider and Miami Vice, and they all sucked on toast. But how else could it have got so roundly ignored? I guess it falls to me to review the thing and see whether it was treated harshly or just didn't merit mention. By anyone. Ever.

That gun placement on the River Kwai is bad news for our tank bros.

The plot is not a pot-boiler by any means. There's an evil dictator in power and you have to free the country from his despotic regime. So you've been given a lovely shiny tank with which to achieve this - it's every kid's (and plenty of adults') dream really. I know my wife would kill for the chance of driving such a behemoth and taking pot shots at any and all scenery - it's not so viable in a Dacia Duster, but she tries anyway. Your tank has guns and shells and stuff, and you can pick up ammo and health around the place generally as you'd expect. Enemy soldiers and gun placements will aim to shoot you down, and you'll also encounter other tanks which are simply better than yours, so best to try to contain that tank envy, and run/track away as fast as you can, which isn't very.

Final Assault by the same author. I've not played it, but it looks... tiring. Nice sauerkraut though

You can manoeuvre your turret separately, missus, if you wish, but this seemed a bit like over-engineering to me, so I just ploughed on merrily shooting little guys in the direction I was facing, and firing mortars at tanks and gun placements until things caught up with me. You pick up flashing letters which top up your Tank's... erm, tank and cannon shots (technical term). There are helpful arrows on the ground telling you which way to go, but they're not really needed, the options aren't too plentiful. You just follow the hordes of enemies and you're bound to be going the right way.

Tank is easy enough to play, but pretty hard to get too far into. It looks nice enough too, with smooth scrolling, colourful graphics and a change in terrain every so often if you survive long enough. Sound is subtle but adequate with an average tune playing on the menu screen. It feels a bit like Marauder to play, but this game lacks the smooth finish of the Hewson title. It could use some breaks in play here and there as well, rather than just trundling onward until you run out of ultra-leaded fuel and have to get out and push.

Let's end on a high - the uber-cute New Zealand Story by our Gerald

Overall it's pretty competent in most areas, just lacking in anything special to raise it above such as Commando, Ikari Warriors and the like. Not a bad effort, mind and perfect for padding out one of those compilations which pervaded in the latter days of the Speccy's commercial era. The question still remains though. Why the lack of push from Ocean? They could have got somebody suitably macho from the era to endorse it, like Geoff Capes, Brian Jacks or Gary Lineker (in descending order of machismo). How does Chuck Norris Tank Commander sound? You just know that would have been a winner. I should have been in advertising, me.

TANKS FOR THE MEMORIES

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