Al 'n' Dave's Speed Reviews A-Z: R

ROGER THE PANGOLIN

(Stonechat Productions, 2020)

Knurly, dude!

This was a giveaway on WOOT's ZXmas 2020 edition. Without being disrespectful, I'm still not sure what that means entirely, but I'd guess it's a modern day 16/48 magazine type thing. Groovy. Our pal Son...I mean Roger the Pangolin (not hedgehog) is participating in the 2020 Knurled Tour, consisting of 12 tracks, all handily unlocked. So jump and boost your way to Pangolinian greatness.

And we're off! Doesn't look too hard so far

Dave: "Apparently pangolins don't have teeth. Did you know that Al? This fact was brought to you despite having no real importance in relation to the game itself. So let's move on. First thing I have to say is... It's flippin' fast..! Rolling seems to be a very efficient method of movement for our scaly friend. It looks incredible, the speed of scrolling and all multicolour to boot. For me it's probably a bit too fast though. Or perhaps the level design could've done with a bit more actual 'track' than 'nothingness'. I kept falling off every couple of seconds, and it seemed completely random whether I finished a level or not. Then again, perhaps it's just my cr*p reactions as I slowly trundle through middle age. "My eyes are poor, my nose is knackered etc."

Roger's Tour is starting to resemble a bad Trip on this level

Al: "Ha, if you don't have a migraine after playing this game, you're clearly not trying! It's a bit of a miracle to get a quasi Sonic game running on the Speccy, colours and all, so hat's off to the programmers. It plays pretty well, and flies along at quite a pace when you're not falling off the track all the time. There are quite a few courses, but I think locking them until you've completed the current one would add more of a competitive element. It's a bit too generous as it is."

Roger gets airborne at a particularly unwise moment

SCORING TIME!

Dave: "Fast and furious, just like a pangolin. Probably."

7/10

Al: "A great technical achievement, and a fun game to boot."

7.5/10

"Just one more thing..."

Columbo: "Who was king of the Spectrum jungle? Or icy tundra? Or farm? Which ZX animal was the best, is what I mean?"

Where it all began for Monty. Actual headline-making satire back in '84

Dave: "First things first.. No mention of kangaroos! You know EXACTLY who or what I'm referring to, right? I guess a certain mole has to be right up there (where exactly?). One called Monty. Interestingly, he turned into a stoat in a later game, I think. The Monty games could be all-time classics if it weren't for those pesky randomized crushers. How about a dragon? Am I allowed one? In the form of Thanatos! Being able to burn everything alive and drop knights to their death is heaps of fun. Buuurrrrnnn...! Hahahaha!!!"

Dave can be heard laughing maniacally at this point

"Nope, the outright winner is going to be... (drum roll)... a frog! Yes, I'm talking Ranarama. A magical arcade adventure from the mighty Steve Turner. I mean even the mini-game where you have to rearrange the letters of 'Ranarama' sounds dull but is actually pretty exciting. Yep, that's the winner in my book."

"Let's make a Gauntlet game! But with frogs!"

Al: "Monty Mole had a fair few outings, with mostly impressive results. I think you might be thinking of Sam Stoat there, Dave... or Percy Pigeon at a push. Does Zippy from Splat! count? No? Alright, howzabout Psycho Pigs UXB, for the bizarre title, if nothing else? Domestically speaking, you could pick Garfield or either Fido from Don't Buy This! Think someone needs to draw up a big ol' Spectrum Zoo map including all the characters. Someone who's not me, that is."

Nothing like a big finish to a section. And that's nothing like...(*zzzzipppp*)