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Writer's pictureAlWo73

Curiosities of the Modern Age: Z

You wanna get nuts? Let's get nuts...



Our hero surveys the city, which looks like a level of Bomber (or Fungaloids on a ZX81)


ZIONA QUEST

(IAMAI Creation, 2023)



A lot of games made nowadays follow the well-trodden path of Jet Set Willy, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But imagine if Matthew Smith had somehow been able to copyright that type of game, the money he’d have made! But unfortunately for him, the profits from J.S.F.W. pretty much got absorbed within Software Projects, which he was a director of at the time. Such is business I guess. But anyway, instead of me having to review another J.S.W. clone, it’s highly refreshing to see a one-screen-at-a-time platformer instead, maybe going down more of a Manic Miner route, but with more than a few different tweaks.



You are about to wreck that TV with a rock. Ooh, expensive...


Ziona Quest was made by 'Oor' Willie from Edinburgh! Otherwise known as IAMAI Creation, this seems to be his first game, but he followed it up quickly with a Chrimble offering, Psyqo Santa, which has a similar look to this one, but with more snow on it. Talking of snow, visually this game reminds me of that early Quicksilva classic(ish) The Snowman. Haven’t played that in eons, but the blue lifts in Z.Q. are quite reminiscent of those in Aled Jones’ game.



Here's a handy guide to Ziona living, hope you can remember all of this


Do you want to hear the plot? And boy, is there a plot! And some of it may seem eerily familiar, one could say. It’s dystopian future time, 2039, and “the world is awash with fear as deluded overlords unleash chaos in an attempt to save themselves from an incoming phoenix event.” Now I assume that’s not a good thing, but phoenices (oh yeah) generally come back from the dead, which is beneficial surely. In Final Fantasy anyway. Hang on, let’s get back to the blurb.



“The Earth’s inhabitants, locked down in smart cities pacified by a merciless barrage of mockingbird media, are in trouble. The call went out for brave souls to come help humanity free themselves and ring in a new age of peace and prosperity… You answered.” No I didn’t, but given the circumstances, I suppose I could lend a hand in the form of pootling around on a 40 year old home computer if that’s any help at all?



The mad red needler has knocked you (cyan) flying downwards. Never should have given blood


So it’s heavy stuff, with more than “a little bit of politics” as Ben Elton used to say centuries ago. Well, you ain’t seen nothing yet. Here’s what you have to do on each screen in order to complete the level. Collect a rock from the rock shop, throw it at a TV (someone’s gonna be p****d), collect the TV core, then deliver it to the temple. Do this three times and you gain a ‘truth bomb’. With me so far? Really? Okay, now onto the next phase. Drop the truth bombs in the path of the 3 humans who are wandering around aimlessly. They’ll react either by going purple and angrily running at you, or turning green, freaking out and flying around the place somehow. Merely shoot them with arrows to calm them down, then try to guide these ‘wakened’ individuals to the temple at the top left. Which I don’t think has swastikas on it, god I hope I’m right in that…





Once you’ve saved the souls of those 3 hoomans, you have to take out 2 ‘needlers’ who are marauding around the place, by shooting them about 10 times. At the same time, your ‘brother’ escapes the ‘monarch beam’ he's been held in and if you shoot him till he’s golden (sounds inadvisable, but that’s what it says) he’ll give you a golden rock, which you can lob at needlers if you like, or take it to the temple for an extra life. Obvious really innit? Get to the chopper, sorry flashing temple anyway in order to finish the level, preferably before the sun has made its way across the screen to settle over the temple, or you die. Phew.



"You can't handle my truth bombs" - now we've got a magenta fighter and a green freaker. Standard


This might all sound insane, but you’ve got to admire the level of thought behind it. Oor Willie has managed to pack all of this bizarreness onto just one Spectrum screen at a time, which is quite an achievement. Once you’ve got your head around what on earth you’re trying to do and when, it’ll probably take around ten minutes or so to complete each level. If one of the dreaded needlers jabs you, you die immediately, or possibly get immunized from Covid, but you can at least shoot them too. Oh and if you lose some health from contact with the meandering citizens, you can just stop, meditate and get it back again. Ommmmmmmmm.



Oh look, your brother's appeared (blue). Shoot him lots with arrows obviously


Considering just how many things have to be fitted onto the screen, the graphics are great here. Nicely animated, small and neat, and smooth as you like. The screens don’t lack for colour, and there’s some great music from someone or something called N.Q. to boot. It’s playable once you’ve identified your next mini-quest, and the difficulty level seems spot-on. It’s quite inspired to incorporate all the different features into a humble platformer too.



Here's Psyqo Santa, keen to ruin your Xmas again by zapping you. You suck, Santa!


I didn’t expect very much when I spotted this title, but thought since my options for letter Z weren’t likely to be plentiful, I’d go with it. And aren’t I glad I did, as Ziona Quest is as much fun as you could hope to have with a modern Speccy game, so why not give it a whirl? I just hope I haven’t unwittingly joined a cult or got brainwashed by playing it. Anyway I’m off now to vote for Donald Trump, laters!

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